Cities and suburbs, real and imaginary.

Thursday, January 15, 2009

Who wants to design a game for the Wii?

I was thinking about this, how most Wii games are for casual gamers. (Also, I was thinking about pretty pink ponies, but... nevermind...) I was thinking how you don't have to have the greatest graphics in the world to appeal to a casual gamer. You just have to have a very interesting and cool concept.

Anyone have the programming and graphic design skills to make a Wii game? We could design one, make it a download that can be burned to DV-R and give it away under a CC. Which would suck for you, because you'd be doing a LOT of work for no money. I'm not much of a programmer, after all. But, I'll micro-mange your every step, yell at you constantly, and then take all the credit in the end, because all you did was make the widgets move like I told you to make them move.

Got it?

Right.

I want to make a Wii game called

"Froggy"

Remember that game at Medieval-esque carnivals where you smash the hammer on the launchpad to make your carefully-aimed frog land on a small pedestal?

This game would use the Wii controller to mimic the motion of the hammer. A few small differences, though...

You play as a mighty, muscle-bulging ogre, on vacation from pillaging to get drunk and play a game with your mighty, muscle-bulging ogre friends. This barbarian game is called "Froggy". You go to a marsh, kill some of the giant frogs by farting on them, and then you move the frogs around an obstacle course by smashing the ground with your hammer, causing the frogs to bounce into the air. Where you can either let them land, or whack them again with your hammer to get some driving distance.

The frogs would all be gruesomely dead, with big, lolling tongues throwing off their physics. You wouldn't just send them launching once. You'd have to play a kind of golf with the dead frogs, manuevering them through obstacle courses, collecting points by making them land on things - destroying them. You lose points if the frogs lose limbs. Blood splatter is fine. But all toes and tongues must remain accounted for.

The goal is to get your frog into your cup o' ale, back at the picnic table. Winner gets to take a drink of delicious, "froggy" ale.

I think this could be a big hit among the elderly. Everyone knows how much the elderly hate frogs.

2 comments:

K.C. Shaw said...

But what about the war beetles? Seems like war beetles would be pretty effective at smashing frogs too. Maybe it's like a special weapon you can get. "War beetle acquired."

If I had a graphics program, you can bet I'd be designing war beetles for you. Alas.

J m mcdermott said...

WAR BEETLES do not belong in casual games. They belong in EPIC MASTERPIECES WITH PLAENT-WIDE BATTLEFIELDS OF GLORY AND AWESOMESAUCE!